Why…

• did they build this high rise apartment right across the street from my office building?
• was I at my desk watching someone make their bed and get in it?
• did they think this was a good idea?
• am I so amused by this?
• am I so looking forward to more people moving in?
• did my coworker ask if anyone had any binoculars?
• did I say “I DO!“?
• did my Boss ask me if I had a date tonight?  
• does he always call me out when I look a hot mess and gives me kudos when I don’t?
• is he the best Boss ever? 
• are there no hot guys at my job? 
• was the only cutie our FedEx guy?
• did he have the greatest dimples?
• did I have a boyfriend back when he tried to holla?
• am I single and now he’s got a different route? 
• must I look forward to my quick trips to the Pentagon just to get some eye candy for the day?  
• do I have this thang for men in uniform? 
• can’t I work there EVERY day just to get my fix?
• did I get lost Before AND After my appointment over there today?
• is it so damn BIG?
• did I insist on wearing heels knowing good and well I had to walk a mile through the Concrete Jungle?
• are my feet so damn red?

Flashback Friday

Have a Happy and Safe 4th of July, Y’all!  

Do the Right Thang

I’m not voting Republican.  Are you?

 

Make Me Feel Good

I know I told y’all I was planning to get my first (professional) massage while I was gone.  That plan went right out the window when my coworker asked me if I wanted to go see Katt Williams‘ It’s Pimpin’ Pimpin’ Tour at the Gibson in L.A..  

I’ll take a good laugh over a rubdown any day.  Well…maybe not any day…

After I bought my ticket, I read some reviews online about the show that had me more than nervous.  They had me thinking maybe I should’ve taken my $73 and gotten my body done right instead.

Fortunately everything turned out better then expected.

I was real confused when the opening acts turned out to be two rappers.  The dude was terrible.  I think his name was Clutch the Shift Changer or something like that. Next!  Then a female named Xplicit or something or other from Detroit came one. She did her thing…I guess.  She was aiiiiight, but we were all looking at each other like ‘WTF?.  Is this a concert or a comedy show?’  

Finally the jokes began with these two…

Simply Cookie. 

She was so very hood and so very hilarious.

Leslie.  

This broad will make you laugh and feel extremely uncomfortable all at the same time.  You don’t want to be anywhere near the stage at one of her shows.  She will get in your face and embarrass the hell out of you. I thought somebody was gonna eventually hit her!

Then my dude Katt came out with his teeny weeny self.  Maaaan, did he sweat that perm out.  Lawda mercy!

All in all, I definitely got my money’s worth that night.  I got to see them and I got to see…

Him.

Before the show at Universal Studios, I was standing behind Nicole, the wifey, when…

I caught a glimpse of her eyes.  Stunning, I must say.  And I thought to myself those look like So and So’s eyes and I looked up. Way up! And there he was right beside her.  I always thought Boris Kodjoe was a good looking guy and I don’t make a habit of lusting after other women’s men, but DAMN he’s fine! Extremely tall and fine. Their cute-as-a-button daughter (not pictured) was breaking her back looking up at her daddy.  It was the sweetest thing ever.  Poor little thing is gonna need a chiropractor though if she keeps arching her neck and back like that.  

Oh yeah. These two strolled past me afterwards…

Trent Cameron (on the right), the one who played a young Taye Diggs in The Wood.  Why is everyone in Hollywood so short?  Riddle me this, Batman.  

And my inappropriate crush of the year, Tequan Richmond, Drew from Everybody Hates Chris.  Some grown women lust after Chris Breezy, but I’ve been lusting after this kid…until now.  I’m almost twice his size and his age (not really).  I’m officially over it.

I’ve seen oodles of celebs.  Actors, singers, athletes…

But no one beats the time I saw Monica Lewinsky at the Houston’s in Santa Monica a couple of years ago.

I kept staring at this lady standing near me like ‘Bless her heart!  Poor thing looks like a pretty Monica Lewinsky.  Turns out it WAS her when everyone in the restaurant started pointing, whispering and laughing.  My girls and I ended up being seated at her table after she left.  She actually looked really good in person, but that made our whole trip!   

 

 

Home Sweet Home

Remind me to never pick Chicago’s O’Hare airport as a layover stop.  Four delays is not cool.  Not cool at all.  Getting in at 2 in the morning was not part of the plan.

El Fin de Semana

Sunday I took a road trip to San Diego to see my uncle and go to the zoo.  An hour and twenty minutes into the ride I called him from 5 south. 

Me: Hey Uncle T, I’m at the H Street exit.  I think I might’ve missed my exit.  Am I good?

Uncle T: Girl, you’re in Chula Vista.  You’re about to be in Mexico.  Turn your ass around!  You’re five minutes from the border!  You’re twenty minutes past me.

Whoops!  I thought that sign “International Border…………15 miles” looked mighty suspicious.

Yeah…I was THISCLOSE to being stuck in Tijuana without a passport (or a ticket to the donkey show).  I haven’t mailed off my paperwork yet so I would’ve been illegal and f*cked.  Driving in to Mexico is easy, but they won’t let your *ss out….unless you break them off with a lil’ sumthin sumthin…passport or not.  When I went there in the 4th grade it was a whole different situation than it is today.

So I finally made it to my Uncle’s twenty minutes later.  Funny thing is..I stared right at his exit when I was coming down.  I passed it not having a clue that that was the one. 

Miscommunication + Complicated directions + me = a SNAFU in the works. 

We got a good laugh out of it and ended up at this seafood spot, King’s Fish House. It was GOOD.FOR.ME.

He got the BBQ shrimp and grilled artichokes.  So good!

I got the crabcakes, grilled Mahi Mahi and a desert pear margarita.  I was stuffed and feeling great…

until we went to Belmont Park…

and I got on this…

and this mamajamma.  Not the best move lemme tell ya.  I was good until I decided to ride Chaos one more time…with my eyes closed…so I can really feel it.  This bad boy spins and does complete 360s like a champ and so did my stomach.

We should’ve gone to the zoo like we’d planned. 

I was hurting in the car…trying hard not to lose my lunch.

Dear God,

Thank you.  Thank you for being you, but even more thank you for giving me Wipeout.  Did you create this show just for me? Because I truly believe that You did.  I mean, first you gave me THIS and you know how much I looooved it.  And now Wipeout?  I haven’t laughed so hard since…well…You know when.  The face plants, the play-by-plays, the commentary… 

Seriously God, you’re the greatest. 

All my love,

kayellejaye

People will do some crazy things for money.  And truthfully, I’d sacrifice my pride and a few bones just for the chance to feel like I’m Player 1 in a video game too…and that $50,000 wouldn’t hurt either! 

 

 

Flashback Friday

This week has gone by ridiculously fast.  I spent most of it going to work and coming right back to the hotel.  Lame, right?  I haven’t been shopping, cruising, crushing or flirting yet.  Well…there was this one bartender on Sunday night that I got chummy with.  Normally not my type… blonde and a surfer, but he was cool and I was drinking. 

Bartenders are usually the best looking people in the room.  Why do you think so many people hang out at the bar?  It’s not to watch the game, it’s to watch that hot thang pouring the drinks.  I’ve crushed on a few bartenders in my day even though I knew better.  I flirt for better drinks.   They flirt for better tips.  It’s a win-win situation.  And I should know…bartending was the best gig I ever had.  

My cousin is coming to pick me up in a little while.  I don’t know where we’re going, but best believe there will be some eating, some drinking and hopefully some flirting (not with him of course).  I’m in serious need of some eye candy for this trip and the folks at work ain’t doing it for me (Except for that one Marine yesterday.  He was a’ight.).  And with this heat wave we’re having in Southern California (I swear it followed me from DC!) I hope folks’ll be out tonight otherwise I’m gonna be pretty bummed.

Have a great weekend!

 

Can’t get enough of you

I got tagged by the oh so fab Karrie B.  She caught me before I had a chance to upgrade my songs for my trip.  As you can see by the mangled ear thingies, this baby goes everywhere I go.

MEME Rules:

1. Put your iTunes/music player on shuffle.

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT.  After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?

“Irreplaceable” - Beyonce

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

“Resentment” - Beyonce  (oh no no no)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

“Bird Flu” - M.I.A. (Do.Not.Want.)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

“4 in the Morning” - Gwen Stefani (pretty  much…)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?

“Baby, I’m a Star” - Prince (oooooh yeeeeah)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

“Love at First Sight” - Kylie Minogue (sad…but true)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

“Lost Yo Mind” - Beyonce (so right.  can’t get no righter.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

“Call the Law” - Janelle Monae (almost did…on one of ‘em)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

“Hate that I Love You” - Rihanna (unfortunately…when I was young and dumb)

WHAT IS 2+2?

“Long Way to Go” - Cassie (lol)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

“All Because of You” - Marques Houston

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

“Finally” - Toni Braxton (I wish…I’m still waiting…)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

“Nothing” - Brandy (LMAO. that’s effed up.)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

“Be Ok” - Chrisette Michelle (fo’ sho!)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

“Hold Me Down” - Danity Kane (yes siiirrrr)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

“Better Without You” - Kelly Rowland (WTF?)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

“I decided” - R. Kelly (and I better be right!)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

“Crying Out for Me” - Mario (aaaaaaawwwww…now I’m sad)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

“In Love with My Ex” - Kelly Rowland (no comment)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

“Love” - Destiny’s Child

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

“Rehab” - Rihanna (yes, Lord, yes)

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?

“Can’t Get Enough of You” - Tamia

Now I’m tagging the following folks: eclectik (let’s see if he does it), mrs. mabel and ruthie ann, missb, vixenlibra, and g. mo who tagged me for the very first time.

 

 

When in Rome…err California…

It’s been 2 days and I finally abandoned the comfort of my hotel room to go and satisfy the beast within my stomach.  I haven’t had dinner for the past 2 nights because they feed us so well at work.  Too well, in fact, that I gained 5 pounds last year on this same trip.  So I’ve been so-called ”fasting” at night.  

When I go out of town I have just 1 rule when it comes to food:

I don’t eat what I can get back at home.

However, CPK was really calling my name.

 

Jamaican Jerk Chicken Pizza and a slice of Red Velvet?  Yes Please!

 

Yummers!  I know one person who wouldn’t DARE eat this.  Bless his picky eating heart.

 

***Please forgive the bootleg cellphone photos.