The people have spoken.  

Due to high demand, Condè Nast has decided to reprint 10,000 more copies of the uber successful “all-black” issue of Vogue Italia.  I was unable to score a copy for myself the first time around.  I’ve had friends in America and overseas looking high and low for this magazine.  My BFF went into a Borders bookstore in Maryland where they told her that they never received their shipment.  Interesting…

My Conspiracy Theory:

A) Did Condè Nast intentionally not ship enough issues in order to create a high demand and inevitable frenzy?

B) Did Condè Nast produce a smaller amount of magazines just in case they didn’t sell like hotcakes and they were left with a sh*tload of unwanted magazines.

OR have people finally realized:

Black is Beautiful and we are just as marketable, enticing, alluring, and profitable as the rest of them.

These are things that make you go “Hmmmm….”.

We all know that Mrs. Cannon has a knack for wearing age-inappropriate attire on the regular.  Sure we get that she’s hot and ”eternally 12″, but does that mean she has to dress like it?  I’m not knocking on 40’s door like she is and I wouldn’t dare step out in this get up.  (Actually…it looks like something I wore back in middle school) 

I would love to see her on a Celebrity Edition of What Not to Wear. I know Stacy London could work miracles on her. 

TLC make it happen.

OMG!  I would be PIIIIISSSSED! I would have to beat somebody’s ass if they pranked me like this.  You know you can’t stop midstream. Having my beaver on display is one thing.  Making me soil my clothes is another.  

The second half gets even worse. 

I got a HUGE chunk of change today and it’s got bills written all over it.  I wanna spend it so bad.  Like, real real bad, but I can’t.  And my checking account hasn’t been this swole since my last car accident.  (Yes, there have been a few.  Sue me.  Wait…what?) 

If it weren’t for bills and responsibilities (Boooo!) I’d be doing some real damage this weekend.  My wardrobe needs an extreme makeover and my feet need some new friends. 

I still need to buy a car and my living room needs an upgrade.  That futon has GOT.TO.GO.

This week I downsized my bills and paid off 2 credit cards.  I have one more to go.  

<<insert ginormous sigh of relief here>>

My rent is going up $38 next month.  Which is lovely considering it went up $200 last year.  Ask me how pissed I was.  Bastards. 

I didn’t feel like moving then and I definitely don’t feel like moving now.  So I’m giving myself one more year to save for my condo/townhouse wherever that may be. 

Hopefully by this time next year I will have found “Mr. Right”.  Or even “Mr. Right For Now” for that matter.  Living single gets too damn expensive.  Being an independent woman is draining my bank account.  I need somebody to shack up with.  Somebody that’s willing to go halfsies.  I’m not asking for much. 

Times are hard.

because I wore these waaaaaaaaay back in the day.  American Apparel and Anzevino and Florence decided it was a good idea to bring back the hypercolor shirt.  Urban Outfitters (Grrrr!) is also pimping out black acid wash jeans.  Grrrrrrrrrrrrreat.  

Should I even bother trying to find this?  Is it really sold out EVERYWHERE?

**In my best Florida Evans voice**

DAMN DAMN DAMN!

***NSFW-ish****

So how was your weekend?  Mine was pretty darn good.  I went to a surprise bridal shower on Saturday and it didn’t suck.

Actually, it was bananas.

We had a ball…or two…or four…or six…

We had a youngin’ in the house so we had to keep hiding the cake and other goodies from her.  This little girl spent the entire time screaming and playing with penis balloons.  LMAO.  She didn’t have a clue.

We had two cakes.  One that was ‘G’ rated…and one not so much.  

(Click on pic for uncensored version)

The little girl kept trying to get a piece of the “adult” cake.  Her mom was like ‘No, Honey.  You can’t have that one.  It’s got nuts.  You can’t have nuts.’  LMAO!  She was not trying to hear that!

We sipped on sangrias.

And slurped down margaritas.

Then we had this contest to see who could make the best wedding dress out of toilet paper in 3 minutes.  You know this was right up my alley.

Project Runway ain’t got nothing on me!

See…no strippers.  No debauchery.  Just good ole fashion fun in the early afternoon. We acted like well behaved young ladies…until midnight rolled around.  I have yet to see THOSE pictures.

***Damn, I need a new camera.

So here we have the final(?) version of Kanye’s video for “Flashing Lights”. This is definitely my favorite of the three.  It’s got that Clue/Gosford Park feel to it.  Me likey.  I just wish Dwele would’ve been in at least one of the videos.  His hook is the best part of the song.

Sessilee Lopez, the model in the video, is also featured in the latest much-hyped “all-Black” issue of Vogue Italia.  A definite collector’s item.  I gotta get my hands on this one before it’s gone.

You can view all the photos HERE.

Four different covers (l-r: Naomi, Liya, Jourdan, Sessilee)

I’m not loving these covers though.

How cute is little baby Usher?  The cutest, right?  I was a little worried about the young chap.  Especially with that email that was floating around a few months back that claimed some “special” looking baby was his.  I knew it was fake, but there was no telling how this kid was gonna turn out.  My coworker thinks Usher is FIIIIINE.  I think he looks like a troll doll.  A semi-handsome troll doll.  Am I wrong for that?  

Source: Essence

I called The Ex the other day.  I wanted the recipe for his baked ziti that I LOOOVE.  Basically everything he makes is on point.  That’s why there’s 7 more pounds of me to love.  He did that to me.

He never let me cook.  He did it all.  My job was to look pretty, eat, and do the dishes.  Which was fine with me.  But now that I’m single (and always hungry) I need to work on my Domestic Goddess skills.  For the next man.  I’m out of practice.

I can sew.  I can scrub a mean bathtub.  I’m very artsy-craftsy.  I love to decorate and re-arrange furniture.  I can spend hours in the grocery store.  I even collect cookbooks and tear out recipes, but I’m a mess in the kitchen.

Now don’t get me wrong.  I can cook.  I just don’t “throw down”.  You know…”put my foot it in”.  But I can follow a recipe and it’s usually pretty tasty.  But I’m easily distracted.  I’ve had my share of kitchen disasters.  They usually begin with me walking away from a pot of something and end with me opening the balcony door and jumping up and down to fan the smoke away from my LOUD ASS smoke detector.  (At least I know it works.)

I need to focus.  I need to get better.  I need to do better.  That way I won’t have to always call him everytime I’m trying to make this or bake that.  I can just call him to talk about other things…like The Steelers or his Mom or work or the good ole days or…us.