Michelle Williams has a new look and a new sound. Ms. Kelly better watch out. Looks like Michelle’s trying to snatch up her #2 spot.
UPGRADE!
I just read that Angel “Lola Luv” Melaku’s measurements are 34-22-40. (If you’re not familiar with her then read THIS.)
My measurements are xx-25-41. I’m 5′2.
My friend JB claims that I have a ‘Monster Booty’. Which he loves, by the way. He actually worships it. Ask him. He’ll tell you.
My cousin claims that I’m at “Maximum Thickness”. Any more hips and *ss and I’ll fall into the “Big Girl” category.
This past Easter I told my Mom her ass looked HUUUUGE. She laughed at me and said mine was bigger. Much bigger. So I grabbed her, spun her around, and told my Aunt to be the judge. Whose is bigger?!
I won.
They’re trippin’. My mom’s taller than me. It’s just an optical illusion.
In the meantime, I’ll be doing some squats and donkey kicks to rectify the situation.
Right now, these are the brand of jeans that work best for me.
Joe’s Jeans Honey $158
Good for tiny waists and big ole butts.
I can’t imagine what SHE wears…
Something with a lot of streeeeeeeeeeeeeetch.
Remember when I said I was playing kickball this Spring? Well eff that. That group’s a little too rowdy for me. For them it’s drink beer. Play ball. Drink more beer. Drink a little more. Play what? I’m trying to get my 4-pack back not to be all swollen in the colon.
So I’ve joined a flag football league instead. It’s a little more grown & sexy. Kinda like me.
I got a new nickname too. Mocha. Haute and chocolatey. Yup. Just like me.
I wanted to go by Killer. That’s what they called me in my kung-fu days. They didn’t believe me. They’ll see…
I think I need to buy some cleats.
I remember back in the day cleats were the sh*t. Everybody had them. Everybody but me. If they’ll help me move across the field like Troy, I’m sold.
Can you believe they’re trying to mess with my boy’s hair? Leave Troy alone! If he doesn’t mind getting tackled by his roots let him. And let me continue to drool while I watch.
I’m hitting the streets tonight. Dinner and drinks with the girls. I sooo deserve it. This was a great week for me and I’m pretty proud of myself. I was on time for work every day this week. Yesssir! That never happens.
Yes. I’m kayellejaye and I’m a stereotype.
CP time is my time. All the time.
I’m fashionably late for everything. Intentional or not. No matter how much extra time I give myself to put my face on and get fly I always end up racing out the door at the very last minute.
I’m always there when you call, but I’m never on time…
I had THE best drink last night. A Ginger Snap Martini.
It was sex in a glass. It was that good. Normally, a French Martini is my go-to drink, but I had three of these bad boys last night and I was Kool & the Gang.
I haven’t been posting much lately because I’ve been busy trying to Get a Life. I’ve been ripping and running the streets a lot lately. Happy Hours…dinners…lounges. It sure beats being a couch/internet potato. A girl could really get used to being a social butterfly. It just costs too d*mn much.
If only I could find the time to sew…
It’s Good Friday so we’re taking it to church today. A place I haven’t been in God knows how long. I really need to get my Jesus on.
Enjoy.
Hallelujah! Winter is over. Can I get an Amen? Buh-bye Seasonal Affective Disorder and procrastination, Hello Sunshine and motivation!
I’ve been sick since Sunday. I went and acted a fool out in the snow. It was hot. The snow was melting. My coat came off. I got wet. I got sick. Silly me.
But I’m all good now. Nothing like a couple of days off work to get rid of my cooties.
So I just stopped by a shoe store on my way home from work. I was feeling springy and spontaneous and look what I bought.
They’re adorable, right? (I know…crappy picture) They’re so much cuter in person. Very sexy and pinup-ish. I really wanna wear them tomorrow night for my BFF’s birthday. So I MUST break them in NOW. Right now or I’m gonna need a lot of cocktails to dull the pain.
You know what I love the most about these little round toe pumps? They were on sale for $30 and I just found them online for $73. Cha-Ching!
Every clothing website should be like this one for A Small Collection designed by artist Alyson Fox. It would make shopping online that much easier. Don’t you think? You may not like this eco-friendly collection (I do), but at least you know what you’re gonna get.
He said, She said